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Well here I am. On the way to the other side of the world. My fourth time to the antipodeans. Flying alone. Which is how I like it and how Fe demands it. She left the UK on Sunday. The day afterwards a 6.5 earthquake hit New Zealand's North Island. When she landed it was in 100 kph winds. I wonder what awaits me? Sunshine and blue skies I hope.
The build up to a big trip is one I usually approach with dread. For while I love planning a massive holiday nearly as much as I love being on a massive holiday when it comes to the bit when I actually have to get there I am forced to seek solace in alcohol and Valium. So I hit upon an idea. Twenty seven hours until I reach New Zealand. How about I write a little 'blog along the way? Maybe it will distract me. Maybe it will make time go faster, maybe it will be something I neglect as the drugs take hold and the sheer boredom and futility take over. We shall see.
Hours 1-2 (four hours to Dubai, one day to Auckland)
Well, approaching two hours into my journey I am still up for it. Have just eaten a surprisingly tasty yoghurt chicken curry concoction. Have had a couple of beers and half a tablet. Had a chat with the woman one along, we have an unused seat between us, and I'm feeling okay.
I am flying in an A380 for the first time. Apart from the fact it has two floors (the double decker bus of the air world) I don't know too much about it. After flying to New Zealand for my wedding my bro said it was the smoothest flight he'd ever encountered. He said he didn't even realise he'd taken off which I'm not so sure I believe but so far so good. It is strange to see a stairwell right in front of me. But it's so spacious it almost feels like you're on a very smooth ferry crossing. Long may that continue.
Right. I'm going to read some print outs from Cricinfo which I have saved especially for this flight. Rock and roll.
Hours 2-6 (fourteen hours to Melbourne, 20 to Auckland)
I didn't end up reading them. I started working out some financial stuff and that was enough to send me to sleep. I thought it would be wise to take advantage of the spare seat between me and Janice who is flying even further than I am. She is going to Whangerai. Or in other words an additional three hour wait and 30 minute flight from my destination, Auckland. All of which seems pretty far off as I sit in departures in Dubai.
In the end I got a few hours intermittent sleep and now find myself bleary eyed in a far too bright airport lounge. Catching a glimpse of my face in one of the many mirrors here reminds me it has been far too long since my skin had a bit of sun colouring.
There is only 90 mins stopover and I spent 40 of them walking around the airport reminding myself of the following mantra. "Thirteen hours until I am in Australia". "I will be in New Zealand tomorrow". Both of which sound pretty good. Whether that alone will be enough to get me through the next 14 hour flight remains to be seen. I am just praying the next leg is also on a A380. I already know I don't have a spare seat next to me.
10 and a half hours to go to Melbourne
This is tough now. Cramped. Still managed to sleep on and off for an hour. Have had something to eat. Felt pretty ropey when I got on the plane and have had a couple of panic surges but my chill out message and half a diazepam have calmed me slightly. Currently a bit of turbulence is adding to the wonderful world I am currently existing. Hopefully it doesn't last too long.
First time I've ever failed to find a single film on the in flight entertainment that I want to watch. So I'm going through the first series of Friends as I wait for the time left on this flight to dip below the ten hour mark. It's all about breaking it down. So with that in mind I'm still reminding myself that when I get off this flight I will actually be in Australia. It still helps. Also that I'm almost at the half way point between England and Australia. I'm ignoring the other three hour flight I've still got to take. Turbulence starting to kick in now. Not enjoying this. But I will get through.
8 and a half hours to go to Melbourne (14 to Auckland)
A baby has been crying since we took off. About five hours and five rows in front. So it could be worse. Oh, it's just stopped.....No, it's started again. Looking forward to being over land. Now it's screaming. Actually feel sorry rather than annoyed. Sorry for the kid, its parents and anyone sitting nearer than I am. Also relieved I can block it out by watching a Steve Coogan video. Is it still called a video?
8.05 hours remaining (still pretty much 14 to Auckland)
I've just worked out that If I pay $20 I can get 100mb of internet access. I can check out the NZ v India score, read the match report from West Ham v Man City! Check out the papers and a whole host more.
Unfortunately I made the decision to put my wallet in the case that's in my overhead locker. And I'm sitting by the window and my two neighbours are fast asleep.
Denied!
And I need a wee.
In more positive news I've just checked out the time in New Zealand and technically I arrive TODAY!!!!! It's those kind of little things that get you through. That and my third small bottle of red wine.
Baby is still crying.
7 hours and four minutes remaining
REALLY NEED A WEE!!!
I ended up hurdling the guy next to me. I saw the woman on his left stir and took my opportunity.
Just under four hours remaining now.
...............and I'm clinging on a bit.
However being able to access the internet helps. Tweeting and facebooking people allows me to escape this fart smelling capsule momentarily. Also allows me to take my mind off my impending hangover which is starting to creep in. Dark outside but Perth is on the horizon. Despite having a window seat I'm on the wrong side of the plane to see it though. Shame. Knowing land is close by and that I've technically reached Australia is good for the spirits. Mind starting to turn to my last flight now but no complaints. In the last eighteen hours of my life I have spent 16 in the air. Seven remain with an hour or so stop off. Stay on target! Baby still crying.
Less than two hours to Melbourne
Thank god for the internet. Been chatting to Fe and also reading the thirty-odd emails my football team have sent trying to find a player so we aren't one short tonight.
Melbourne
Auckland ahoy!
Staring out the window at the reason why New Zealand is known as the land of the long white cloud.
In reflective mood and feeling pretty wide eyed and clear headed considering the length of journey. Remembered that while I may only have 90 minutes left of this journey I should probably make one final entry. So this is it.
Lack of sleep, too much alcohol and a handful of prescription drugs aren't exactly great bed fellows for insightful commentary. But hopefully alongside the photos I have taken it all comes together to make a worthwhile blog. We will see. But first I've got to get to NZ. Fe is waiting at the airport. Or at least she should be. I couldn't text her from Australia. I'll find out shortly.
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